Since I haven't updated this unfortunate to be owned by me bloggie in a while, I've decided(as you can see) to kill time by doing so.
A warning though, this post could be a rant further down the lines, I don't know yet 'cause I don't plan what I write(call it a skill of mine. Heh.)

Ever since restarting school last month, I've had this nagging feeling of just giving up studying.
Contrary to my nature of never wanting to give up.
It's a stupid thing to think... but after a while of just sitting in class and trying but failing to understand what the teachers are saying, I just figured it's a little too late to even try.

It's been on my mind for the longest time.
My finals are almost over, so why the hell am I still thinking about it?
I'm failing a few subjects, I just know it.
Never have I ever cared much about my studies, I'm just not one to stick my nose in books when the exams near.
I still manage to score at average a couple of As without studying till an hour before the exam 'cause I really didn't give a damn.
But now... after dropping out of school for part of the year, I feel downright hopeless.

I just wonder what was the point of studying?
Really, wth is the point of learning differentiation in add math or the digestive system of a freakin' cow?
Might as well just pick up my guitar and busk, at least I'll be gaining some money.

I've slowly but surely lost total interest in the field of science.
Largely due to the teachers I have now and partially due to the time I spent school-less.
I've wanted to be a cardiologist for a while.
I wanted to be one so I could help my cousin.
I used to be so enthusiastic about it.
But now, I've lost all my drive.

I'd like to think of myself as more of an artistic person as opposed to a technical person.
All I love is music, writing and drawing.
So, I really think I've made a mistake :\

This is what happens when you've been given too much time to think.
I know some would say that I've just wasted my time when I could've helped myself while I was still out of school.
That's whole thing though isn't it?
I'm not willing enough for myself.
I don't know what I'm working for.
So WHY should I waste my time doing something I'm not passionate about?

Huh. Identity crisis?
Just screw it.

Lotsaluv,
Tisha